


head first (and no regrets)

by Possiblyenjoyable



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Autistic Papyrus, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drinking, F/F, Fluff, Sexual Harassment, Trans Mettaton, alphys is a human, alphys probably has to stand on her tippy toes to kiss her, and undyne is tol, but when will that happen?, smoking mention, someone take these two away from me they're so GAY, there will probably be smut later on but im not sure yet so, those three tags are only in the second chapter tho, undyne is a mermaid, warning: alphys is smol, we just don't know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-01 16:57:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6528394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Possiblyenjoyable/pseuds/Possiblyenjoyable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Undyne is a mermaid, Alphys is human. They both attend the same university. Alphys thinks her goldfish is depressed and, well, who else in her apartment complex can talk to fish but a mermaid?</p><p>Or, the one where Alphys thinks Undyne is way out of her league and Undyne thinks the same about Alphys.</p><p>Originally titled "oh god, what i would give."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. fish out of water extraordinaire

**Author's Note:**

> i've actually very surprisingly never written lesbian fanfic before. which is weird, because lesbians and bi girls are very important to me. but i digress.
> 
> i love these kids and they deserve all the best in the world. i hope you all enjoy.

It’s two in the morning and Alphys has been staring at her goldfish since midnight.

 

Why, you ask? Because her poor, sweet, innocent goldfish has been sitting at the bottom of its tank for longer than Alphys thinks is healthy. Henry - the goldfish, obviously - is usually quite active; swimming around the tank with a skip in its swish and what Alphys is sure is a smile on his little fishy face. Tonight, though, Henry has hardly moved and Alphys is worried sick over him.

 

“Come on, Hen, perk up!” She says to him, her nose pressed against the glass of the tank. “Do you need me to change the water? Totally clean your tank? I mean, I just did that yesterday, but… but still! If you need it, I’ll do it! Maybe it’s the new plants…” Alphys eyes the colorful plants she’d just bought that morning for Henry, wondering if maybe the bright colors could somehow be putting him off. But that doesn’t make much sense to her. After all, aren’t bright colors supposed to make people happier? Granted, Henry isn’t a person, but it still makes plenty of sense to Alphys that bright colors would perk the little guy up!

 

“Aw, Henry! I don’t know what to do!” Alphys puts her face on the table in front of the tank, groaning into it before looking back up at Henry. “Here, I’ll take the plants out, okay?” She reaches in and takes both of the plants from their corners of the tank, setting them on the floor. She pulls out her phone and opens up to Facebook.

 

_ henry won’t get his butt off the floor of his tank. think he might be depressed. i feel u lil buddy :( _

 

Alphys sits back and sighs, locking her phone and fiddling with the charm hanging from it. “What do you think, Mew Mew?” She asks the charm. “You think he’s okay?” 

 

With no response from Mew Mew, Alphys finds herself standing and walking over to her couch, lying down and closing her eyes to try and calm herself down. Henry is okay. Henry is fine. It’s just the plants. By three he should be up and swimming around again.

 

-

 

That’s not what happens.

Even after an hour of taking the plants out, Henry is still sitting at the bottom of the tank. Alphys knows he’s not  _ dead _ because occasionally he’ll wiggle a little bit, but he’s not actually moving off the bottom and swimming around. She doesn’t know what to do and she can’t sleep because of this.

 

That’s when she remembers that a freakin’  _ mermaid _ lives in the same building as her. It’s weird, she thinks. But of course it’s weird. Monsters are such a rarity nowadays so staying in the same dorm building at the same college as one is weirdly amazing. How in the hell could Alphys forget her, though? She’s only had a crush on her since she met her. They’re in the same Anatomy class and they talk every day they have it. Seems like every day the mermaid, Undyne, says something about how Alphys’s outfit is cute and every day Alphys goes red and sputters out a “N- Not as cute as your outfit, Undyne!” 

 

She probably doesn’t make a very good impression.

So maybe they’re friends, but Alphys can’t be sure. Why would someone as cool as Undyne be friends with someone as lame and nerdy as Alphys? God, she’s so out of her league it’s comical. But even so, Alphys is desperate to figure out what’s wrong with her dear sweet precious Henry and she can waste no time in saving him. With a determined expression and a deep breath, Alphys summons all of her courage and marches out of her room.

 

The only reason she knows where Undyne’s dorm room is is because she once ended up walking home from class with her. She’d asked Alphys for some help with their homework and god, Alphys had so badly wanted to say “Sure, Undyne! I’d love to help you!” but instead what came out was “I- I’d love to, but- but I have a thing- I need… I have to do something!” 

 

And she’d ran away.

 

“You’re not gonna run away this time, Alphys,” she says to herself. “Henry needs you. He needs you more than ever. Be brave, okay? And don’t be weird. Okay, there’s her door so you should probably stop talking to yourself because that could definitely be considered weird-”

 

And oh, god, Undyne is  _ literally  _ standing right outside her door.

 

It takes all of Alphys’s courage not to squeak and jump back ten feet. Undyne wasn’t there a second ago, was she? Oh, god, can she teleport? Alphys remembers a monster she met when she was small. A skeleton? Yeah, he was a skeleton. He’d been so kind to her and had gotten her food when she was lost in the mall. She'd told him she was hungry and the guy had taken her to the food court to get her food and tell the staff that she'd gotten separated from her mother. She remembers being beyond confused when they’d gone from JCPenny's to the food court on the other side of the mall in a matter of milliseconds. 

 

But Undyne probably can’t teleport. She’s only outside of her room, anyway. She only opened her door and stepped out, Alphys reasons.

 

Aw, jeez. Undyne’s staring right at her.

 

“Alphys?” She says with a tilt of her head and Alphys’s heart jumps into her throat. “What are you doing up so late?”

 

It takes a moment for Alphys to find her voice, her hands making wild, shaky gestures even though she’s not speaking. “I, uh,” she finally says, “I needed to ask you something, if that’s alright with you! If I’m bothering you, it’s okay! Well, actually, no it’s not because this is really important and I promised Henry I would do this for him and-”

 

“Alphys,” Undyne interrupts and Alphys nearly cries from embarrassment right on the spot. But Undyne is smiling a tired smile and Alphys can’t help but wonder why Undyne is up this late as well. “I’m up for anything. Whatcha need?”

 

“Uh, well- wait, were you doing something?” Alphys asks. “Because I don’t want to get in the way of it if it’s something important!”

 

“Nah, I was just gonna go take a walk,” Undyne shrugs. 

 

Alphys glances down. “In your boxers?” She looks back up. “And a sports bra?”

 

Undyne blinks, looking down at herself. “Oh, shit,” she chuckles. “Guess you’re right. I forgot that clothes are a thing.”

 

Alphys forces herself not to stare at Undyne’s midsection because  _ oh my god she has abs lord take me now. _

 

“But uh, I’ll go put on a shirt and then I can help you with- what was it?” Undyne asks.

 

“Oh! Um, okay,” Alphys looks down, “I don’t want you to think that I’m just using you because you’re a mermaid, but… I think my goldfish is depressed and I need you to talk to him for me. Please!” She tears her eyes away from the floor to look pleadingly up at Undyne.

 

Undyne stares at Alphys, and before Alphys can say “Never mind! Henry’s a goner, sorry for bothering you!” Undyne is cackling.

 

“Oh, my god! Is that it?” Undyne grins. “Dude, I thought it was something really awful with how nervous you were acting! Then again, you seem like you’re nervous a lot.” Placing her hands on her hips, Undyne leans forward and beams. “‘Course I’ll help you with your fishy friend! But only if you show me one of those silly cartoons you watch all the time afterward.” She winks. “How about it, eh? Sleepover with the mermaid sound like fun?”

 

Alphys is dead. She’s dead and her soul has been sucked into the void and somehow she can  _ still _ feel her breath getting caught in her throat. Why is Undyne doing this to her?

 

“A- Are you serious?” Alphys asks, eyes wide. “You wanna… you wanna have a sleepover? With  _ me? _ ” 

 

“Well, sure! We’re friends, right?”

 

What.

 

“W-We are?” Alphys squeaks out. Undyne’s grin fades a bit.

 

“Well, I mean, I thought so…” Undyne says, and Alphys feels her heart drop from her throat into her stomach. Undyne really considers Alphys a friend? And now Alphys is making it seem like she doesn’t see Undyne as a friend. 

 

“Oh, my gosh,” Alphys shakes her head. “No, Undyne, I do! I just… didn’t think you did.”

 

Undyne grins again. “Why wouldn’t I? We talk, like, every day. And you’ve helped me pass tests and- oh! There was that one time in class where I took a drink of your coffee and spilled it on my shirt, and what did you do? You gave me an extra shirt you had in your bag! Even if it  _ was _ a dorky anime shirt.” At her teasing look, Alphys nearly melts.

 

“I always carry an extra shirt with me in case something like that happens,” Alphys says, twiddling her thumbs. “Because knowing me and how clumsy I am, I’d need it.”

 

“Well, hey,” Undyne shrugs. “It was put to good use. And it’s kinda big on me which makes it hella comfortable, y’know- oh, wait, shit! I should probably go get changed if we’re gonna have a therapy session with your fish. No time to waste!” 

 

Undyne dashes back into her room, leaving Alphys to stand next to the door in the hallway. She can’t believe she’s having a sleepover with Undyne. Undyne the beautiful, blue-skinned mermaid who is so sadly out of Alphys’s league. 

 

Undyne, who is probably only pretending to like her.

 

It doesn’t take long for Undyne to get dressed and when she comes back out into the hallway, Alphys nearly passes out because Undyne is wearing the shirt she lent her and apparently didn’t bother to put anything on over her boxers and she looks  _ so good.  _ Her hair is tied up in a messy ponytail and she’s got a backpack slung over her shoulder, her mouth split into a wide grin.

 

“Well, what’re we waitin’ for?” Undyne asks, blatantly ignoring the deep blush that’s spread across Alphys’s face by now. “Let’s go save your fishy friend.” 

 

“Oh- Okay!” Alphys nods eagerly. “Um, thank you for doing this? I didn’t think you would want to, e- especially since it’s so late.”

 

“Eh, I don’t have class until five tomorrow afternoon, so it’s not like it matters,” Undyne shrugs. “Plus, I’ve been meaning to ask if you wanted to hang out and this gives me the perfect excuse to  _ force _ you to hang out with me.”

 

“F-Force?” Alphys squeaks. “You could have just asked! I would have- no, actually, you’re right. I probably would have panicked and said I was busy…” God, why is Undyne even talking to her?

 

“Dude,” Undyne says, “believe or not, I get nervous too. I hate to admit it, but I was super fuckin’ scared to ask if you wanted to hang out.”

 

Alphys’s eyes widen. “What?” She says, eyebrows raising. “Why would  _ you _ be afraid to ask  _ me _ if I wanted to hang out?”

 

Undyne scratches the back of her neck. “Aha, well, it’s stupid, really. I just kinda thought that you were scared of me. And I also kinda thought, like, why would someone as smart as you wanna hang out with someone who can’t pass a test without staying up all night to study for it?” Undyne sighs. “And, I dunno… I’m a monster, yeah? I get one bit of water on me and I’m flailing on the ground. You remember.”

 

Yes, she does.

 

_ “Get back here, assholes!”  _

 

_ Alphys hears the sound of someone yelling up ahead, closer to the science building than she is. She thinks she recognizes the voice, but she doesn’t really think anything of it. It’s probably just some students screwing around with each other. Nothing new.  _

 

_ Alphys makes it up the set of stairs connected to the sidewalk that leads up to the front door of the building, however, and she immediately feels her heart jump into her throat.  _

 

_ “God fucking damn it,” she hears the mermaid muttering from her spot on the sidewalk. The pavement beneath her is dark, and Alphys realizes that she must have somehow gotten wet, thus resulting in her tail making an appearance. “I knew this would fucking happen. Pap said I’d be fine, but nooo, of course people have to be dicks-” _

 

_ “Um, excuse me?” Alphys interrupts the mermaid- what’s her name? Alphys can’t remember.  _

 

_ “What?” The mermaid snaps, turning and glaring at Alphys. She’s got tears in her eyes- well, eye. Her left eye is covered by an eyepatch. “Come to laugh at me? Go ahead, get it over with.” _

 

_ Alphys is stunned silent for a moment, her heart pounding. She feels so sad all of a sudden, but god, is she ever angry too. _

 

_ “N-No,” Alphys finally stutters out, “I just… thought maybe you could use some h- help?” _

 

_ The mermaid rolls her eyes, scrubbing a hand over the uncovered one. “Yeah, sure. I don’t need your help, sweetheart. You better get going or you’ll be late for class.” She looks down, jaw set. _

 

_ Alphys furrows her brow, walking closer. “Um, I- I may not be able to help you, ‘cause I’m not all that strong, but… do you like anime?”  _

 

_ The mermaid doesn’t respond right away, her eyes flickering up to meet Alphys’s. She stares at her a moment before deadpanning, “What.” _

 

_ Alphys forces herself not to run away. “D- Do you l- like anime? It’s, um, Japanese cartoons?” She sits down next to the mermaid, pulling out her phone. “Lots of, ah, swords and stuff.” _

 

_ The mermaid laughs. _

 

_ Alphys’s heart stops. _

 

_ “Seriously?” The mermaid says through her laughter. “You want to stay here and watch anime with me?” _

 

_ Alphys blinks. “I guess so?” _

 

_ The mermaid shakes her head. “I thought you’d laugh, too.” She grins. “Thanks, Alphys.” _

 

_ “W-What? How do you know my name?” Alphys asks, face red. _

 

_ “We’re in the same Anatomy class. You always get the best test scores and I sorta hate you for it.” _

 

_ Alphys lets out a nervous laugh. “Sorry,” she says. “Um, I… can’t remember your name.” _

 

_ “Undyne,” she says. “Fish outta water extraordinaire.”  _

 

_ Alphys nods, smiling nervously. “I’m sorry about what they did,” she glances at the science building as if the culprits are watching them right now. “I’d try to carry you to class, but… I’m not very strong. L- Like I said.” _

 

_ Undyne shrugs. “No big deal. It’s sunny out so I should dry up pretty soon. I’m gonna miss class, though.” She blinks, raising her eyebrows. “And so are you if you keep sitting here with me!” _

 

_ “It, uh, doesn’t really matter that much to me,” Alphys says. “I’m already three chapters ahead of what everyone else is on.” _

 

_ Undyne shakes her head. “Damn. And you wanna watch anime with me?” _

 

_ “If… if you’d be willing to,” Alphys pulls on a lock of hair. _

 

_ “You kiddin’ me?” Undyne grins. “S’long as there are swords and princesses, I’m in.” _

 

“Yeah, b-but that was so much fun!” Alphys assures her. “Even if you didn’t really know what was going on and you probably thought I was a huge nerd, I… I still had a good time.”

 

“You  _ are _ a huge nerd,” Undyne says, but when Alphys looks at her, she’s got a giant smile on her face and if Alphys didn’t know any better, she’d say Undyne looks like she’s endeared by Alphys and her nerdiness. “But I like it.”

 

Alphys ducks her head to hide the blush that continues to creep across her cheeks. The rest of the walk to her room is spent in silence, but not the uncomfortable kind. It’s nice.

 

“H-Here we are,” she says, opening her door and allowing Undyne to step in. “Sorry, it’s kinda messy…”

 

“Shit, if you think  _ this _ is messy, I’m glad I didn’t let you into my place,” Undyne laughs. She sets her backpack down on the couch. She takes a moment to look around, her hands ghosting over furniture and the wall by the fish tank. “This your little buddy?”

 

Alphys joins Undyne, kneeling next to the tank. “Yeah, Henry. Henry, this is Undyne. She’s gonna talk to you for a second. Okay?”

 

No response from the fish. Not even a little wiggle. Undyne makes a face.

 

“Poor guy,” Undyne shakes her head, clicking her tongue. She sets her chin down in front of the tank. Alphys, for whatever reason, thinks that she’s going to speak in English. What Undyne does, however, is quite different.

 

It’s a series of tongue clicks and tongue rolls, and noises that are so high pitched Alphys almost can’t hear them. She watches in fascination as Henry twitches in response, Undyne watching him closely. The mermaid laughs softly a couple times and Alphys is dying to know what they’re saying.

 

With a huff, Undyne leans back from the tank and looks at Alphys. “We gotta go buy a bigger fish tank. Also, he says that it’s not your fault since there was no way you could have known, and he really appreciates the fact that you really tried to figure out what was wrong with him.” 

 

Alphys tilts her head. “A bigger tank? How come?”

 

“It’s too small,” Undyne says matter-of-factly. “The chemicals and stuff in the water are too much for him. Wanna go buy one right now? WalMart's open all night.” 

 

“R-Really? Right now?” Alphys blinks. “I, um, don’t really have much gas in my car, so?”

 

“We can take mine! It’s kinda messy and a little dingy, but… it works!” Undyne beams and Alphys melts. “We can stop at the movie store, too, if you want. Or do you have Netflix?”

 

“Um, I have Netflix and a very small amount of money,” Alphys admits, “so we should p- probably avoid the movie store.” 

 

“I can’t believe they still have one of those around here, honestly,” Undyne says, standing up. “Alright, Henry. Don’t you worry! We’ll be back soon with a new tank! Come on, ya dork.” Alphys looks at Undyne’s outstretched hand, almost hesitating before reaching out and taking it, letting her pull her to her feet.

 

“Let me, um, grab my bag,” Alphys says. She speed-walks to her bedroom, digging around in her mess of clothes and stuffed animals for her purse. 

 

“Dude, nice,” Undyne’s voice causes Alphys to yelp, jumping back towards her window. Undyne laughs. “Oh my god, are you okay? I didn’t mean to scare you, dude. But seriously, when’s the last time you cleaned this place?” 

 

Alphys blushes for the thousandth time that night. “I- I don’t actually know. I don’t sleep in here.”

 

Undyne steps over a few stuffed animals, almost tripping but catching herself on Alphys’s bed. “Really? Why not?” 

 

“Normally I, uh, fall asleep watching Netflix out in the living room,” Alphys says, still digging around under piles of dirty clothes. “I- It’s pretty rare that I sleep in my- my bedroom. The couch is comfier anyway.”

 

“Huh,” Undyne hums. “Well, like I said, it’s cleaner than my place. I should probably pick up soon…” The sigh that leaves Undyne resonates within Alphys’s soul. It sounded so resigned and tired and it just  _ hurt _ to hear leave Undyne’s throat. Alphys always thought that Undyne was happy and energetic and outgoing, but here she is showing actual fatigue and resignation.

 

“I can… I can help you!” Alphys declares. “I don’t really care h- how messy it is, but I’ll help you clean it!” 

 

“Seriously?” Undyne’s mouth twitches up into a smile. “You wanna help me clean my pit of a room?”

 

“S- Sure, why not?” Alphys shrugs, refusing to make eye contact with the mermaid. “We can do it, um, this week? Maybe after class or something?” 

 

Undyne glances to the left of her, somewhere on Alphys’s bed. “I’d actually really appreciate that,” she says, then reaches over and grabs something. Alphys watches her out of the corner of her eye. “Hey, babe? This what you’re lookin’ for?”

 

Red creeps up onto Alphy’s cheeks upon hearing Undyne calling her “babe,” but nevertheless looks over to see what Undyne is holding up. Her purse!

 

“Yeah!” Alphys nods. “God, I don’t know how it got over there.” 

 

Undyne laughs, tossing Alphys her purse. Alphys barely catches it. “Well, c’mon. We got a fish to save.”


	2. so, tell me about yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get gay and the bed of Undyne's truck is much more comfortable than Alphys would have thought.
> 
> No, not that kind of gay. They're not ready for that step yet. Shut your mouths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so!! as i was writing this i realized that i had more ideas than i originally thought, so it's going to be a little longer than 2 chapters. not sure how long though. we'll see.
> 
> trigger warning for alcohol and sexual harassment!

“D-Do you think Henry will be okay by the time we g-get back?” Alphys asks, her voice small. She gasps. “Oh my god, Undyne, what if… what if he  _ dies _ before we get back?” Tears well in her eyes and she chokes back a panicked sob.

 

Undyne reaches over and puts a hand on her back, scratching lightly up and down in a gesture of comfort. Alphys literally has to fight back a small moan because that feels so  _ nice _ . “He’s not gonna die, Alphys!” Undyne laughs lightly. “Really, we could probably just get him a tank tomorrow afternoon and he’d still be fine. But that’d be kinda mean and you don’t really strike me as a mean person.” 

 

Alphys wipes at her eyes, trying her hardest not to lean back into Undyne’s nails on her back. “I-I’m sorry, I’m being silly. This is—This is silly. I shouldn’t b-be so worried about him.”

 

“Honestly,” Undyne says, and out of the corner of her eye, Alphys can see her giving a crooked grin, “it’s kind of endearing that you care so much about your fish. I mean, as a mermaid, it’s pretty flattering.” 

 

Alphys manages a small smile around her blush. “W-Well, why wouldn’t I c-care about him?” God, she wishes she could stop stuttering. “I, um, care a-about you, too, y’know. A l-lot.” She ducks her head and for a moment, Undyne doesn’t say anything. Her nails go still on her back and Alphys feels her soul leave her body. She shouldn’t have said that, oh god, Undyne thinks she’s so weird— 

 

Her nails move again and Alphys nearly cries with relief. “I care about you too, ya nerd,” Undyne says. Alphys can hear the soft smile in her voice.

 

_ But not in the same way,  _ Alphys thinks. Why  _ would _ Undyne like her like that? Undyne is beautiful and strong and funny and Alphys is, well… Alphys. Nothing special. Just a whole lot of weeb.

 

Heh, yeah.

 

They’re quiet for the rest of the car ride, the radio playing softly in the background. Undyne’s got some sort of CD in, and she thinks it must be a mix CD judging by all the different styles of songs. They range anywhere from what Alphys recognizes as Paramore to Flatsound. Alphys decides she rather likes Undyne’s music preferences.

 

Her pickup truck is old and loud and sputters sometimes, and all Alphys can think when it makes a pained noise is  _ I can relate. _

 

Her pickup truck is a faded green color, rusted and scratched, and all Alphys can think when she looks at the chipped paint is  _ This is my new favorite color. _

 

Her pickup truck is messy and has a dusty pack of cigarettes that may or may not be empty lying on the ground at Alphys’s feet, and all Alphys can think when she kicks a few water bottles and food wrappers out of the way to make room for her feet is  _ I could stay in here forever. _

 

When they arrive at WalMart, Alphys pulls her coat tighter around herself and hops out of the truck. Despite there being an inch or so of snow on the ground, it’s really not all that cold. Alphys is glad for that. She may be chubby, but chub can only go so far in terms of keeping her warm. 

 

Undyne throws an arm around her shoulders nonchalantly, and Alphys cants her head up to look at her through her messy blonde bangs that have fallen in her face against her will. 

 

Undyne grins brightly at her. Alphys thinks that maybe Undyne is trying to choke her by making all these stupid flowers grow in her lungs.

 

“Let the search for the tank commence!” Undyne declares, marching forward with Alphys in her grip. 

 

It doesn’t take long for them to locate a tank for Henry, one that’s about twice the size as the one he currently resides in. They’d stopped a couple times on the way to the pet section to look at pointless things such as magnets and, better yet, mugs. 

 

“This i-is the cutest mug I’ve ever s-seen!” Alphys had giggled, picking up the pastel pink cup from the shelf and turning it over in her hands. Undyne smirked, tilting her head.

 

“Don’t you already have, like, a billion mugs at your place?” She asked with an amused snort. Alphys furrowed her brow. “Don’t give me that look, I saw those open cupboards!” 

 

Alphys had shrugged helplessly. “I like mugs,” she said quietly. “They’re cozy and remind me of hot chocolate during winter.”

 

“Aw,” Undyne had cooed. “Well, I’ll buy you the mug if you want.” 

 

Alphys had shaken her head, placing the mug back on the shelf. “N-No, it’s okay. Let’s, um, let’s go find a tank.” 

 

Undyne had cast a look Alphys couldn’t quite describe at the mug before following her to the pet section.

 

Now, with a tank in Undyne’s arms, Alphys can finally feel a little more relaxed about Henry’s situation. They got him a new tank. He’ll be okay.

 

The guy at the cash register casts them an odd look, as if he’s wondering why a blue-scaled lady and a short human girl are buying a fish tank at four in the morning. Alphys avoids his gaze. Undyne seems to challenge it. Alphys doesn’t know how to feel about that, so she stays quiet and lets Undyne do her thing.

 

With the tank purchased and Alphys’s anxiety at ease once more, the pair exit the store and make their way back to Undyne’s truck. Alphys wonders how Undyne can carry the tank under one arm like it’s no big deal. Alphys would be wheezing.

 

And right on cue, she’s reminded of that by some boys in the parking lot. Fellow schoolmates. Great.

 

“Hey, yo, fatty!” One of them yells. Alphys winces. Undyne stops dead in her tracks.

 

“Undyne, come on, let’s go,” Alphys risks wrapping a hand around Undyne’s free wrist, pulling gently on it. “They’re p-probably drunk and—and I don’t wanna h-have to—”

 

“You finally gettin’ freaky with the mermaid?” The same boy yells again, laughing along with his two other buddies. “Y’know, I don’t think that tank’s gonna be big enough for the both’a you. It’s hardly big enough for your own ass, babycakes.”

 

Alphys feels tears sting at her eyes. “Undyne, c-c’mon, can we please, please go?” She tugs at Undyne’s wrist again and notices her hand has balled up into a tight fist. 

 

“What’s the matter, babe?” The middle boy’s friend yells over. “Wanna let one of us in on that action? Wonder what it’s like to fuck a freak and a fish at the same time?”

 

“Hate to tell you this,” Undyne grits her teeth, “but you’d be the freak in that case.”

 

The boy seems unphased by her comment. “Baby, don’t be like that!” He coos. “You got a nice ass for a fish. And your little friend there’s got a nice set of tits. Bet they’d bounce into oblivion if I fucked her—”

 

“I’m gonna bounce  _ you _ into oblivion if you don’t shut the fuck up!” Undyne snaps. Alphys keeps a tight hold on her wrist, her tears starting to leak over. She just wants to leave. She just want to leave right now and go home and never let anyone look at her ever again.

 

“Come on!” The middle guy shouts again. The third friend seems content to just watch, apparently. “Why would you gals wanna pass this up? It’s not like anyone else is gonna fuck either one of you anyway.”

 

Alphys’s throat constricts and her nails dig into Undyne’s wrist.

 

“Sweetheart,” Undyne yells, “you already know this, but I’m too busy ‘getting freaky’ with my girlfriend here to really worry about whether or not someone’s gonna fuck me or her. I can’t say the same for you, though.” 

 

_ Girlfriend? _

 

The middle boy’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, absolutely fuming. “Goddamn bitch!” He snarls. “I offer to fuck you and your fat ass girlfriend and you fucking turn me down? You’d be lucky to have someone like me fuck you!”

 

“Hmm, wow, I’m so upset about missing out on this once in a lifetime opportunity!” Undyne says, her voice dripping heavily with sarcasm. “See ya, assholes.”

 

As Undyne begins to walk again, Alphys can hear the men yelling “Fine! Who’d wanna fuck someone like you anyway? Fucking freaky monster bitch. And your tub of lard you call a girlfriend ain’t worth my time either!”

 

Alphys can’t bring herself to let go of Undyne’s wrist, clinging to it with both hands now as she stifles a sob. Tears are running down her face, but she refuses to make a scene. She’s used to this. She’s used to people picking on her. She knows she’s fat.

 

The sound of Undyne’s truck unlocking snaps Alphys out of her thoughts. She sniffles and reluctantly pulls her hands away from Undyne’s wrist, softly apologizing for stabbing her with her nails. Undyne opens the passenger side door and shoves the tank on the floor where Alphys’s feet will go; she’ll just rest her feet inside of it. They’ll clean it when they get back anyway.

 

Before Alphys can get back in the truck, though, Undyne is wrapping her in a tight hug, Alphys’s face pressed into the crook between Undyne’s neck and shoulder. She blinks in surprise, eyes wide and—damn it, the tears are back. Undyne’s got a hand on the back of her head and an arm around her shoulders and Alphys feels so, so safe. 

 

So fucking safe.

 

“I’m sorry,” Undyne says quietly. “I know you wanted to walk away, but… I don’t deal well with people saying bad shit about people I care about, y’know? If you hadn’t been holding onto me like you were, I woulda set the tank down and fucking decked all of them in one swing.” She laughs softly into the top of Alphys’s head. “What they said about you is bullshit, hon. You know that, right?”

 

Alphys offers a weak shrug, finally bringing her arms up to loosely wrap around Undyne’s midsection. “I think they’re right,” Alphys murmurs. “I mean, I  _ am _ fat. You know it too.”

 

“Yeah, Alphys, you’re a little chubby,” Undyne says and Alphys can feel her smile against her head. “So fucking what? Chubby and fat don’t equal unattractive! You’re cute as hell!” Undyne pulls back with her hands on Alphys’s shoulders, a giant grin on her face, and… is she blushing? “I think you’ve got a great bod, honestly. We both do. You wouldn’t look like yourself if you were any skinnier. This you is a great you!” The blush on her face intensifies and Alphys wants to kiss her so,  _ so  _ badly.

 

Alphys has friends. She’s got Shyren and her boyfriend Aaron, but they live halfway across the country so she really only gets to Skype them and talk to them over the phone. They’re monsters, just like Undyne. Except not mermaids. Alphys has never understood why people are so against monsters; they’re so similar to humans that it blows her mind that people would see them as anything but. But then, she thinks, people dehumanize others just because their skin is darker than what’s thought to be normal. Humanity isn’t the best.

 

Then she’s got her brother, Mettaton. He’s great. Light of her life. He still lives at home with their parents and Alphys misses him terribly. 

 

But even if the people she loves live a good distance away, Alphys still has friends. She’s had friends in the past, too. Out of all of them, though, Undyne is the only one aside from her own brother that’s said “You’re fat but that doesn’t mean you’re not beautiful,” instead of “You’re not fat, you’re beautiful!” as if she can’t be both. 

 

With a dip of her head, Alphys musters a soft, “Thank you.”

 

Undyne nods. “So fuck those guys, they don’t know what they’re talking about.” She leans in slightly, her expression serious. “Seriously, though. If I ever see anyone make you cry again, you don’t get to hold me back.” 

 

-

 

“Dude, look at the fucking stars!” Undyne says, hopping out of the truck as soon as they’re parked. She doesn’t even turn off the ignition. Alphys steps out as well, looking up at the sky with a content smile on her face. 

 

“I-I’m glad that it stopped, um, snowing,” Alphys says. “The sky is so—so clear now!”

 

“Sure as heck is,” Undyne nods. In less than a second, she’s stepping up into the bed of her truck and holding a hand out to Alphys. “Come on up!”

 

Alphys furrows her brow, taking Undyne’s scaly hand and letting her help her climb into the bed. She stumbles as she pulls her other leg over, catching her balance just before she can faceplant. “What—what are we doing?” She asks.

 

“Please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times,” Undyne says in a comically deep voice, sitting down and lying on her back. Alphys giggles, joining her. “Although the ride will not be in motion, it’s important to keep any and all appendages inside in case the conductor wants to hold one of them.” 

 

“Haha—wait, what?” Alphys squeaks as Undyne quickly laces her fingers through Alphys’s. “Undyne, what are you—?”

 

“Shh, I just thought you could use the comfort after what happened earlier,” Undyne says nonchalantly. Alphys’s smile falters.

 

“Oh.” She nods. “Yeah. Thank you.”

 

“No prob, bob,” Undyne grins. 

 

There’s a moment of peaceful silence where Alphys spends her time thinking about what a nice time she’s had tonight, even if she hasn’t slept and she and Undyne were harassed by some drunk guys. 

 

“H-Hey, Undyne?” Alphys speaks up. Undyne looks over at her with a questioning glance. “Do you, um… Do you smoke?”

 

Undyne blinks. “No?”

 

“O-Oh! I just thought that—well, there’s a-a pack of cigarettes on the, uh, floor of your truck, and—”

 

Undyne laughs. “Aw, shit, those aren’t mine. My best friend, Papyrus, his older brother smokes. I gave him a ride to work one time and he finished off the last cig in that pack in my truck. I haven’t cleaned out this baby in  _ years _ , so. That’s why it’s there.” 

 

Alphys lets out a relieved sigh. “Oh, okay. I-I was worried I would have to t-tell you about how bad smoking is f-for you.”

 

“Nah, trust me, I know,” Undyne says. “Sans is trying to quit now, at least.” She blinks. “Y’know, actually, I don’t think he is.”

 

“Why’s that?”

 

“Well, he and his bro are skeletons,” Undyne says, “so they don’t have lungs. I would think that he’d be able to stop smoking, like, immediately.”

 

“Y-Yeah, but… he might be, um, addicted to the feeling it gives him,” Alphys says. “What with m-monsters and magic, he should s-still be able to feel the effect from a cigarette.”

 

“Hm, maybe,” Undyne shrugs.

 

“What are they like? Sans and Papyrus?” Alphys asks, genuinely curious. The only skeleton she ever knew was the one that helped her when she was little after she got lost in the mall.

 

“Oh, jeez, where do I even start with them?” Undyne chuckles. “Paps is awesome. He’s hilarious and has one of the biggest egos I’ve ever seen on anyone, but he also thinks that everyone else is super cool, too. Like, he’ll talk all day about how great he is—he literally calls himself The Great Papyrus—and how smart and cunning he is, but the second someone he loves is feeling down, he doesn’t hesitate a  _ second _ in reminding them of how great they are, too. It’s really sweet.” She smiles softly. “But it’s sad because, well, he’s autistic, so… he gets picked on a lot. He goes to community college and a lot of the people there aren’t too nice. He’s high functioning, but he’s got a few special interests that no one else really cares about. Puzzles, action figures, cooking… People don’t get it. They get bored when he starts talking about them.” Her face scrunches up in disgust. “He got bullied fucking relentlessly in high school. I beat up more than a few people for him, lemme tell ya. He’s such a cool kid and it’s so awesome when he gets all excited about what he loves, and he thinks I’m super cool, too. But honestly, I don’t think he’ll ever love anyone more than he loves his bro.”

 

“He sounds really nice,” Alphys says softly. She understands getting bullied, she really does. Not for the same reasons Papyrus does, obviously, but she gets it on some levels. “And it’s good that he loves his brother.”

 

“Yeah, Sans feels the same way,” Undyne nods. “He’s so goddamn protective of that little shit. Sans is super fuckin’ weird, honestly. Almost everything out of his grinning mouth is a pun. And whenever he makes one, Papyrus just ends up screeching in distress. But really he loves it. And he likes to do this thing where one minute he’ll be standin’ in front of you, and then the next fucking second he’s right behind you or he’s in another room. Fuckin’ hate his teleportation shit.”

 

“Wait,” Alphys’s mind flashes back to the skeleton from the mall. “Is—Is Sans, like, short? Like, about my height?”

 

Undyne blinks at Alphys. “Yeah, why?”

 

“Um, when I was little, I got lost in the m-mall,” Alphys explains. “A sk-skeleton with a big grin on his face helped me find my m-mom and got me food. We were on the other side of the mall, but… we were at the food court in less than a second!”

 

“Dude, that sounds like him!” Undyne beams. “Wow, what a fucking coincidence. I’ll have to ask him if he remembers that the next time we hang out.”

 

“P-Please do.” Alphys nods. “That would be really funny if we were, um, connected like that.”

 

“Sure would be,” Undyne laughs. “So what about you? You got any friends back home?”

 

“Oh, um, yeah!” Alphys smiles. “Well, I have t-two friends who live in California, so we just Skype and call each other a lot. And m-my brother. He’s great. He’s been through a lot of stuff, though.”

 

“Oh?” Undyne says, sounding like she’s actually interested. “Stuff like what? If you don’t mind me asking, I mean. You don’t have to tell me if it’s too personal.”

 

“N-No, it’s fine!” Alphys assures her. “He d-doesn’t really mind people knowing this. He, um, realized that he was trans when he was little, and when his parents found out, they—god, they literally put him up for adoption, Undyne. S-So, my parents adopted him, thank goodness.” She gives a small laugh, smiling fondly. “It’s, um, actually kind of funny. When we adopted him, he still hadn’t thought of the name he wanted to go by. So he came to me one day, asking if I could help him p-pick a name. We spent a while talking about it, and when we couldn’t come u-up with anything, we took a break to, uh, watch some anime.” Alphys blushes. “I c-can’t remember which one it was or what exactly the name of the robot in it w-was, but… he based his chosen name off of it. He wanted to go for something d-different and flashy because he’s always been very theatrical and flamboyant, so… he chose Mettaton.”

 

“ _ Whoa _ ,” Undyne sits up on her elbows. “Wait, are you fucking serious? Mettaton? Oh, my fucking god. Tell me you’re not shitting me.”

 

Alphys casts her a worried expression. “I’m not?”

 

“Holy fuck!” Undyne lets out a loud laugh. “First we find out that you knew Sans when you were little, and now this!”

 

“W-What are you talking about?” Alphys asks, confused beyond belief. 

 

“Did Mettaton go to Midland High?” 

 

“Um. How did you know that?”

 

“Because Papyrus did, and Pap had a  _ huge _ crush on Mettaton!” Undyne screams with laughter, falling back against the bed of the truck again. 

 

“Are you—are you serious?” Alphys’s eyes are wide, her jaw dropped open. 

 

“Yeah, man! But wait, why didn’t you know Pap, then? I mean, Pap is a year ahead of Mettaton, and we’re both a couple years older than Pap, but still! Don’t you think you would have seen him?” Undyne asks.

 

“Actually, no,” Alphys shakes her head, awestruck. “We m-moved to Midland right before the start of Mettaton’s sophomore year. I-I was already graduated by then, so I didn’t go to Midland H-High.”   
  


“Aw, damn,” Undyne snaps her fingers. “But still. That’s fucking crazy.”

 

“Y’know, I c-can remember Metta talking about someone he thought was so cute,” Alphys says with a smile. “He said something about his crush being a monster and—Oh! I remember now! He came home one day with a super dreamy smile on his face and w-when I asked him what was up, he literally said, ‘My heart’s been stolen by a skeleton, Alphys. A fucking skeleton. I want to kiss a skeleton.’ I was so confused, oh my gosh. But then I realized that he must have meant a monster who went to his school.”

 

“I wonder if they still talk?”

 

“N-No, I don’t think so,” Alphys says, her smile fading. “Around the end of his junior year, Metta started getting really depressed. He hardly did anything that summer. Now that I think about it, it m-might be because Papyrus graduated and left him at school. Metta didn’t have a whole lot of friends. Papyrus leaving probably hurt a lot. A-And Metta has a habit of… pushing people away so they can’t hurt him. He pretends to be happy all the t-time, but he tries really h-hard not to get too close to people because he’s convinced that—that they’re always going to leave in the end. When Papyrus graduated, he must have… he must have thought there was no way they would stay in touch with Papyrus going to a community college and all. So he probably pushed him away.”

 

Undyne’s frowning intensely, looking up at the stars. “Fuck. That explains why Pap was so goddamn sad over the summer. Like, he kept up his little happy facade, but Sans told me he could hear him crying through the walls. We gotta get those two back together, man. That’s bullshit. Papyrus fucking loved Mettaton. He was his best friend.”

 

“Gosh,” Alphys breathes. “W-We should definitely get them to see each other again. Metta’s having a hard time with his l-last year of high school and could really use a friend. And apparently, someone to, um, smooch.”

 

Undyne bursts out laughing at that, squeezing Alphys’s hand. “Yeah, well, so could Paps. But Mettaton better not break his heart, okay?” She gives Alphys a pointed look, but Alphys can still see the amusement in her eyes.

 

“I’ll talk with him about it. Winter break is coming up, so…”

 

Undyne gasps. “Dude! If they went to the same school, that means we probably live pretty fuckin’ close to each other. I could say I’m inviting a friend from school over for dinner and you could bring your brother. Pretend we have no idea that he and Pap know each other.”

 

Alphys looks uneasy at the idea. “I-I don’t know… it seems kinda mean to do that, don’t you think?”

 

Undyne shrugs. “Maybe. But I think it’ll end up okay. Papyrus is so good-natured, I kinda doubt he’d be mad at me even if he found out.”

 

Alphys cringes. “I can’t say the s-same for Mettaton. He’s got a few trust issues already, but… maybe. I’ll, um, think about it.” 

  
Undyne br ushes her thumb over Alphys’s knuckles and Alphys can’t help but feel a twinge of frustration at how Undyne only means it as a platonic gesture. If it were anyone else, Alphys  _ might _ think they were flirting with her. But Undyne is so confident and comfortable with who she is, the fact that she’s being so physical with Alphys isn’t that surprising. It doesn’t mean anything, Alphys thinks with a sinking heart.

 

Oh, well. She appreciates Undyne’s presence in her life nevertheless. Platonic or romantic, Alphys loves her.

 

Alphys blinks. She honestly didn’t mean to think that.

 

Alphys doesn’t curse much, but…  _ Fuck. _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the autistic papyrus headcanon was inspired by tumblr user chlmera. y'all should go check out his mettapap fanfic called "dizzy." it's hella good. 
> 
> the next chapter will be up..... sometime??? soon??? whenever i finish writing it which i'm on a fuckin ROLL with this thing so it should be quick!!

**Author's Note:**

> the next chapter will be up soon! once i finish writing it c:


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